06.14.09
Men…
Ignore commercial part, it’s the comedy part which is my point. (By the way, uterus=livmoder)
04.04.09
Bad day
I’m having a bad day today. I think it might be related to the accident. I am just so tired, and get frustrated with everything. My chest hurts as well, plus, all plants and trees seem to have exploded, so the ground is yellow with pollen, so that’s making me crabby was well. Might be a little PTSD after the accident too. I am so tired with school, and I am ready for this semester to be over. I think it will be good for me to go to Sweden, a change of scenery, and hopefully not too much cooking. 
I do hope to be a little spoiled, and hopefully granny has some good meat stashed away, some moose or deer. Right now I could do with a Swedish pizza. It’s silly the things you find yourself missing.
My stomach is all messed up too, damn accident, damn idiot to run the red light. I’m listening to Elizabeth Taylor’s Send in the Clowns. It seems to reflect my gloomy mood. I had a test Thursday again in math and I panicked. For the first time, and it was so odd. I think I got through it though. It’s one of those things where I can get a 80 or a 100. It either went really good, or absolutely terrible.
It’s going to be terribly hard to be away from my husband for nearly three weeks when I go away. I was going to go for only two weeks, but it turned out to be a lot cheaper for me to travel home on a Sunday instead of a Thursday. I’m going to try to keep myself busy, but I am sure there is going to be a lot of homesickness and some tears. Despite the excellent food . I am really looking forward to it though. It’s going to be great seeing everyone again.
On a more cheery note, we had people over last night. We had a great time, and I got some praise for my chocolate cake. It was funny, I was making Strawberry Daiquiris for myself and Bonnie (the only drink I actually enjoy, which could be cause I put in so little Bacardi that you don’t actually taste it…..) and Adam got all upset because he wanted a “pretty” drink as well, and it had to be in a fancy glass. If you see Adam, you’d get why this was so funny (he just bought a Harley, has plenty of piercings and tattoos…). Anyways, nice night.
03.24.09
Car crash
We were in a really bad car crash yesterday afternoon. Really bad. Some idiot ran a red light and crashed into another car, which in turn, crashed into us. We were standing still, waiting for the light to turn green, when the car came slamming into us. My husband saw the whole thing, I did not. The car is a wreck, as we got sandwiched in between two cars. As we stepped out of the car, we felt okay, although slightly later, hubby felt that he needed to go to the hospital and get checked out. We did, and nothing was ruptured or broken.
Today however, is a different story. We are not as fine as we first thought. He is achy all over, wrists, neck and lower back is hurting bad. I’m having a hard time breathing, my chest is hurting (again! damn…) and my stomach is sore to the touch, and I have pains in my back, and tension waist and up. It didn’t help that I could barely sleep last night. I wanted to go in to the doctor today, but I couldn’t afford to miss more class. So we are going to go in first thing tomorrow morning, and I’ll take a muscle relaxer to help me sleep.
We are suing the shit out of the idiot who ran the light, not the girl who accidentally hit us. Actually, we are not, the government is, since hubby is a veteran. I can’t believe the nerve of the guy, he was standing outside his car smoking, not even walking over to check on the girl who was stuck in her car, or any of us others. F****** idiot.
11.26.08
My curse
Are they not beautiful, my little darlings? Are they not positively divine? Such radiant faces, such joy. I am very proud, yet also saddened for those we’ve lost over the years. While I was a part of it, it did not bother me, yet now I weep with every loss, and feel guilt. I miss them very much, I really do. I wish I could be apart of it all again, but that’s not possible, as I’d go mad. They’ve grown into themselves, I can see it very clearly, found their own identities. Yet I can still pick out those that will go unnoticed and be lost soon. I can only hope that they will find the strength to carry on, despite hardship. May they be blissfully ignorant.
I shall soon see them again, and shall embrace every single one of them, as they all hold a small, yet significant part of my heart. In contrast to many others who have gone before me, I shall never forget about them. I care too much, and that is my curse.
09.26.08
Christmas rip-off
I am a little upset. I had found this PERFECT Christmas gift for one in my family. It was perfect, and the prize was reasonable, maybe a bit on the high side, but still. I found this about a month and a half ago. Now when I go back to look at it, they’ve raised the prize with $20. EVERYWHERE! I checked BestBy, Walmart, Target, and they’ve all raised the price with at least $20. It’s INSANE. Now I have to come up with something better, which I know I won’t. So I am upset!
I am currently doped up on muscle relaxer. So I am fluffy, very fluffy. I’m still in a lot of pain, just not quite as much. I spent an hour crying on the floor over that I couldn’t make it up the staircase. Or you know, walk.
Ducks….
When I woke up this morning, I could barely walk. My entire body was seizing up, and it was extremely painful to take single steps, even worse bending over, or trying to straighten up. I know this is from skating. Or shall I say lack of. I got stuck at the sink in the bathroom, crying my eyes out, since I couldn’t straighten up after bending down to get my lenses out of the cabinet. I had to call for my husband so come and help me massage my back, to help me straighten up. I am now sitting (bad idea too….) with one of those slimming belts, forcing my body to keep straight, and also keeping it warm and sweaty, it’s less painful that way.
If you look at a skater like me, one of the idiots who have been doing it for 10+ years, you will notice that we are shaped like ducks. Our backs have a natural arch to them, creating a duck-shaped silhouette, with butt out and the rest of the upper body sits arched slightly forward, some more than others. When actively skating, this is fine. You work hard and keep those muscles needed to support “the duck” in shape. But when you quit, like me, the muscles deteriorate and can’t quite support your weirdly shaped body.
This week I have been completely neglecting to go to the gym. I have my first big midterm, and I’ve been working actively on it this week, and haven’t really gotten around to going to the gym. Bad. Very bad. I need to work out very often to keep my muscles warm and active, or I seize up, mainly in my back and knees. I wasn’t going to the gym today, but I am now going to, to prevent more pain and injury. I don’t even want to think about what’s going to happen when I get older and naturally start to seize up do to age…. Hello pain. My husband joked this morning and said that we would have to keep working out to literally the day we die. Unfortunately, I think he’s right.
09.17.08
Bu-hu…
I am feeling very sorry for myself right now. I just returned home from the doctor’s office, my second doctor’s office in the span of only two days. Yesterday I had a visit for my immigration papers, and they did a check up -very thorough…..- and drew blood to check for HIV and syphilis (gee… thanks…..). Everything very embarrassing of course. They drew four vials.
TODAY I had to go and get my tetanus shot (stelkramp, mamma), which is notoriously painful. My arm hurts, and will apparently hurt even more tomorrow. Oh joy. I also had to have blood drawn (again…. sigh, we are now up to 6 vials in two days, no wonder I feel a little bit woozy) to get *hold on, got to run up and check the note…* Varicella Titer. They are looking for, in lay mans terms, antibodies in my blood against chickenpox. I do seem to recall having had chickenpox as a kid, I know there should be a picture somewhere of Cathy and me in the bathtub all red and spotty. In case my memory has failed me completely, and there are no antibodies, I’ll have to have another shot against it.
Next Friday, the 26th, I have my last Gardesil injection coming up. I am so tired of needles! Anyway, I feel sorry for myself and would do well with some pity. Hubby isn’t that great when it comes to those kind of things! *Puppy eyes* My arm hurts!
07.03.08
Burns and 4th of July
Yesterday was my best friend Sarah’s 19th birthday. Me, her and my other friend Catie went to the beach. The beach is about two hours from our house. It was good to leave, ’cause my husband was upset with a teacher from his creative Caribbean literature class (he’s not very creative….). Anyway, we went, and it was so beautiful and very peaceful. My husband had been warning me about the sun, since I’m not used to the sun, which is a lot stronger here than in Sweden, due to being closer to the equator. I decided to be very careful. I smothered myself in SPF 50 sunblock at every given moment, drank loads of water and wore a hat almost all day (remembering when me and Cathy were kids and mum made us wear these silly hats when we went to the beach. Me in red and Cathy in purple…) and I also tried wearing a long sleeved shirt quite a lot. I should have been fine. Note the word SHOULD.
I burned, quite a lot and it hurts like hell. I usually take pride in never burning, but that was in the north. Here, I burn. My back, one side of my neck and on the back of my legs. I’ve been pouring on soothing gel all day, but it doesn’t seem to help much. And my husband is all “I told you so, don’t you dare whining”. I did so much to protect myself that it’s ridiculous and I still burned! Next time I go to the beach, I’ll wear a turtleneck, full-covering pants, gloves, socks and a huge sombrero! However I doubt hubby will let me go. Anyways, we had a great time, me and the girls, in spite of the burns.
Tomorrow is the 4th of July. I think we are going to celebrate this year, since we skipped Midsommer due to Cathy being here and we doubted she wanted to celebrate it here. So what I wanted to do for 4th of July is to “Swedify” it a little bit and do a traditional Swedish summer celebratory meal. I wanted to have some cold cut meat, like ham, roast beef and my favourite, a meat which you put into the oven for like 12 hours and then put into a salt and sugar solution to cool. It’s delicious, but hubby was VERY apprehensive about leaving the oven on for 12 hours when we’re sleeping. It’s only going to be on 160 degrees Fahrenheit, which is like barely warm. I also wanted to get my hands on something which directly translated becomes “Fresh Potatoes”. They are small potatoes that we eat all the summer in Sweden, and they are, to me, the actual taste of summer (I’ll just leave out the fact that by late August you are so sick and tired of them that you could throw up). I probably won’t be able to get my hands on any, but we are going to go to a specialty store tomorrow and look and if I’m very lucky…. But I doubt it. It’ll just have to be regular boiled potatoes, which is fine, but not quite the same thing. Then we’ll get strawberries and vanilla ice cream.
Happy 4th of July everyone!
06.18.08
ICE! ICE! ICE!
Yesterday was my first day back on the ice after almost five months of doing nothing. My first thought; “I’m home. Finally home.” The air was cold, a dry kind of cold and smelled and tasted metallic. I felt like Bambi, taking my first shaky steps back out onto the slippery ice. It was hard to feel my edges and I was sliding all over the place. But after a while, it didn’t matter. I was back in my element, my blood was rushing, my heart was thumping harder and my soul was soaring. I was back and it felt divine.
This morning I felt like I’d been run over by a train. But God, it felt good. There were muscles I hadn’t used for months and they were shocked into existence again. I have blisters the size of Manhattan and my legs feel like jelly. Yes, parts of my body are hating me right now, like parts of my poor back, but I don’t really care. I am finally skating again. We will go up every Tuesday from now on, my husband will do Kung Fu while I skate. It’s not enough to do it once a week, but it’s a start.
I am still aiming for Adult Nationals in May 2009, but it’s going to take some doing. My back need to heal properly and I have to get some of my jumps back, not to mention get flexible again (not that I was very flexible to start with….), and get back into spinning. Thankfully, we are only allowed to do up to double Toeloop in Adult Gold (this does mean that I have to learn double Toeloop, a jump that I’ve always hated), you used to be able to do up to double Loop, but they’ve changed the rules. This year, there were only two girls in my age group at Nationals, and they didn’t do anything TOO hard. The girl who won landed a -2 double Sal and no Axel. Girl No.2 did nothing over single Lutz. Looking over the protocols, it would feel almost like cheating to go into Adult Gold. Maybe I should do Adult Masters Ladies Novice instead, where they do a little more. I’m going to talk to someone at USFSA about it, and hopefully, I don’t have to test (hah, in my dreams…..).
I don’t think Cathy and our little girl enjoyed skating yesterday. Their feet hurt, and they could probably think of a million things they would rather do than skating. But this was my night, and they just had to bear it. The little one had had fun all day at Tae Kwon Doe camp (I so want to spell Kwon with an A, I think it’s an occupational hazard…) and we skipped skating last week so Cathy could get her fabrics. It was my time to do something I liked. The poor things looked pretty miserable skating round and round out there. They probably did an hour though, which is very good. We’ll do it again next Tuesday. Yay!
06.14.08
General wrap-up
I had my appointment yesterday with a blond southern woman who called me honey, sweetie, darlin’ (no g”, of course) and such all through our session. She killed me, quite literally. She kept pushing down on all my pressure points and commented “yes, that must have hurt” every time I screamed. Then she told me “try to stop yelling, people will think I’m hurting you!” NO KIDDING? I was in serious pain leaving and am now too. I had to take some muscle relaxers before going to sleep, or I wouldn’t have slept at all.
To make matters better (ahem….) my dear husband dragged us all out of bed at 8 bloody AM to play tennis with him. Me, our little girl and my poor sister (since she usually sleeps to about 10, I though he overdid it a bit…) weren’t too thrilled about the idea, I was still a zombie due to the muscle relaxers and hadn’t had breakfast yet. Needless to say, I didn’t really play, and my sister didn’t put any real effort into it either. Hubby gave up after maybe half an hour.
My writing is going pretty good. No really. I had this dream, and I am going to use it for the basic outline for a book (future book, hopefully). I also wrote the first rough (read: very very very rough) draft of the first chapter. Though kinda bad, the chapter is very good. Very good. Though it also sucks. I can’t really explain it very well, can I? I guess you could say that the basic underlining thread is very good, while the current wording and most phrases aren’t that spectacular. It’s also way too short. It’ll need to be maybe 6 pages long, right now it’s almost exactly 2. What I also need is a couple more plot lines. Yeah, I know. However this one could be a keeper. It’s still not the fantasy novel I want to write, but I’m sure that one will pop up later in the future.
Now I am going to go beg my sister to gently massage my back, to get the blood flowing through my muscles. I have already done the exercises the lady told me to do, and they hurt like hell.
